I cannot take credit for this; I can only take credit for the small edits I made. It feels strange to edit someone else’s work…but the edits make it more to my liking. In all, I love this poem. It expresses such amazing and beautiful abstract thoughts…thoughts I often think about.
P.S. I do not know who the original writer of this is...but this poem heavily affected my style and inspired me when I started writing.
Mountains. Heavy are the mountains, but that changes thru the passage of time.
Sky... Blue sky. What your eyes can't see. What your eyes can see.
Sun...There is only one.
Water... It is agreeable.
Flower... So many alike. So many without purpose.
Sky... Red, red sky. Red the color. Red the color I hate.
Water flowing. It drips ripples and pores.
Blood... The sent of blood. A woman who does not bleed.
From the red earth man comes.
Born of man and woman is Man.
Town... A human creation.
What is human? Are they creations of God?
Or that which is human?
The things I possess are my life and soul. I am a vessel for my heart.
Who is this? This is me.
Who am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I?
I am myself. This, that which is, is myself. That which is formed is me.
This is the me that can be seen, yet this feels as if this is not myself.
A strange feeling. It feels as if my body is melting.
I can no longer see myself. My shape my form.
I feel the presence of someone who is not me.
Who is there, beyond me here?
I know this person.
Others...
Who are you?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Final Edit
A while ago I wrote a poem titled “Implosion”. This is the final edit of that poem. It's for a friend of mine.
Implosion before the Dream
Do we care for each other?
What defines love of friends?
Do we really care?
The walls of my mind are closing in
I feel a sensation of sadness surrounding my very core
Help me…
Help me release my mind from this self-made malice.
Where are the people I call friends?
Do they really exist?
Do I matter to them?
Do they really matter to me or am I deceptive?
Why do I feel this way; my mind is playing tricks on me
Show me…
Show me the way out of this stream of thought
Where am I going?
What does my mind want?
Do I really know?
My consciousness is crumbling apart
I am the only person who can truly change my perceptions
But still…
But still we can help each other live in this world
Do we know each other?
Has my mind imploded?
How…..?
I feel my heart melting away
This feeling of loneliness is crushing all that matters
I do…
I do not wish to live in pain because of emotional separation
Why do I think such things?
Where do such irrational thoughts take me?
Do I really believe myself?
My mind is collapsing from the stress
But I know the truths of friendship
I know…
I know are minds and hearts will remain together forever
Is this you who has opened my eyes?
Why have you stopped for me?
Is this my dream?
My heart is beating again because of you
Warmth from your body surrounds my entity enveloping my core
Your touch…
Your touch brings tender dreams to my mind amidst deceptive perceptions
Is this dream to become a reality?
Where are our hearts going?
Is this really the truth?
I wake up each morning now because of you
Thoughts of your personable soul flood my mind with a desire to dream
Hold me…
Hold me forever in this reality so we can both say: “I love you”
Implosion before the Dream
Do we care for each other?
What defines love of friends?
Do we really care?
The walls of my mind are closing in
I feel a sensation of sadness surrounding my very core
Help me…
Help me release my mind from this self-made malice.
Where are the people I call friends?
Do they really exist?
Do I matter to them?
Do they really matter to me or am I deceptive?
Why do I feel this way; my mind is playing tricks on me
Show me…
Show me the way out of this stream of thought
Where am I going?
What does my mind want?
Do I really know?
My consciousness is crumbling apart
I am the only person who can truly change my perceptions
But still…
But still we can help each other live in this world
Do we know each other?
Has my mind imploded?
How…..?
I feel my heart melting away
This feeling of loneliness is crushing all that matters
I do…
I do not wish to live in pain because of emotional separation
Why do I think such things?
Where do such irrational thoughts take me?
Do I really believe myself?
My mind is collapsing from the stress
But I know the truths of friendship
I know…
I know are minds and hearts will remain together forever
Is this you who has opened my eyes?
Why have you stopped for me?
Is this my dream?
My heart is beating again because of you
Warmth from your body surrounds my entity enveloping my core
Your touch…
Your touch brings tender dreams to my mind amidst deceptive perceptions
Is this dream to become a reality?
Where are our hearts going?
Is this really the truth?
I wake up each morning now because of you
Thoughts of your personable soul flood my mind with a desire to dream
Hold me…
Hold me forever in this reality so we can both say: “I love you”
Monday, August 11, 2008
New Vision
…For the past three years or so..my world has been collapsing. Well…I mean I have a good home…relatively a good family…and friends who love me and who I love in return.
…but you see…I have “mental issues” I shall say and many tragic things have happened over the years…so despite all of the good aspects of my life, I have still been going insane. So for the past few years…all of my stress…all of my anxiety…all of my hatred…has been building up inside me…I finally snapped like never before about a week or so ago…I attempted suicide.
……….and o how I came so close to actually dying. I spent about a week in the hospital recovering…half of that time unconscious………..But as you can tell by the date…I am still alive…...........
…when I got back home from the hospital…a dear friend of mine came to visit...we are really close…I call her my “little sister”….she gave me a long hug, a kiss, and a little card she wrote…………my best friend Steven came by…and he told me, “As soon as you’re up and moving again…I’m gonna beat the hell out of you (for trying to kill yourself); you know that right?” haha that’s just like Steven…we have know each other for years…awesome guy…
...and a few other notable friends came by....
*sigh* I broke up with my girlfriend…and yes it hurt very much..because we are so very similar…almost like a mirror…we are so alike indeed…but maybe that’s why it can’t work out….you see we both can’t stand ourselves…so dating someone just like ourselves…you get the idea. We still talk…we are still friends…and I like it that way..I’m just to immature for a relationship of that sort right now…so we still love each other…as the best of friends…always nice to add a friend…
….my world is still collapsing….I’m still stressed out…I’m still saddened and depressed….yet at the same time…I’m happy to be alive….you see…there is beauty in this word…there is a loving God…there are many pages of text I still can read…there is warm sunshine…there are trees….there are the mountains and the oceans….there are many more good and beautiful things……and…I have people I love and can fall back on….I can see all of these things clearly now.
I’ll never try to kill myself again
…but you see…I have “mental issues” I shall say and many tragic things have happened over the years…so despite all of the good aspects of my life, I have still been going insane. So for the past few years…all of my stress…all of my anxiety…all of my hatred…has been building up inside me…I finally snapped like never before about a week or so ago…I attempted suicide.
……….and o how I came so close to actually dying. I spent about a week in the hospital recovering…half of that time unconscious………..But as you can tell by the date…I am still alive…...........
…when I got back home from the hospital…a dear friend of mine came to visit...we are really close…I call her my “little sister”….she gave me a long hug, a kiss, and a little card she wrote…………my best friend Steven came by…and he told me, “As soon as you’re up and moving again…I’m gonna beat the hell out of you (for trying to kill yourself); you know that right?” haha that’s just like Steven…we have know each other for years…awesome guy…
...and a few other notable friends came by....
*sigh* I broke up with my girlfriend…and yes it hurt very much..because we are so very similar…almost like a mirror…we are so alike indeed…but maybe that’s why it can’t work out….you see we both can’t stand ourselves…so dating someone just like ourselves…you get the idea. We still talk…we are still friends…and I like it that way..I’m just to immature for a relationship of that sort right now…so we still love each other…as the best of friends…always nice to add a friend…
….my world is still collapsing….I’m still stressed out…I’m still saddened and depressed….yet at the same time…I’m happy to be alive….you see…there is beauty in this word…there is a loving God…there are many pages of text I still can read…there is warm sunshine…there are trees….there are the mountains and the oceans….there are many more good and beautiful things……and…I have people I love and can fall back on….I can see all of these things clearly now.
I’ll never try to kill myself again
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Grass
I cannot remember when I wrote this short aritcle either...you know..I should probably start dating these things when I write them in my note book...
..grass is wonderful...
..grass is beautiful...
...as i lay in the cool grass..i began thinking...thinking about the fact that..maybe..grass is like people...
grass..it is a creation of god...there are many varieties of grass...but even so..grass is still grass....all grass blades look very similar..but if you look closely..you will see individual characteristics of each blade..if you look at grass..and feel grass..you will see that grass is beautiful..
people..they are creations of god..there are many races of people...but even so..people are still people...all people look very similar..but if you look closely..you will see individual characteristics of each person..if you look at people..and feel people..you will see that people are beautiful...
...see?..they are parallel.....in some dream-like light..grass is like people..people are like grass....if you can love grass..you can love people......if you can love people..you can love grass...
..as i lay in the cool grass...the warm sun shone down...the blue sky was alive with clouds..the breeze played with my hair and cloths and lips...this all soothed my sore body and mind...
..as i lay in the cool grass...i felt of the blades..smelt of earth...stroked the ocean of grass under me....i dreamed of grass..and of people the grass reminded me of........i cried..i cried because..all was well...i was content...i was happy....................i wish you could have been there..i with you could have felt the moment with me..i wish you could have felt of the grass..............................
..........you yourself..are a little, beautiful, tender blade of grass..............
...when you look at grass...see it's beauty...and know in your heart that you are beautiful just as the grass is
........i love grass................
..grass is wonderful...
..grass is beautiful...
...as i lay in the cool grass..i began thinking...thinking about the fact that..maybe..grass is like people...
grass..it is a creation of god...there are many varieties of grass...but even so..grass is still grass....all grass blades look very similar..but if you look closely..you will see individual characteristics of each blade..if you look at grass..and feel grass..you will see that grass is beautiful..
people..they are creations of god..there are many races of people...but even so..people are still people...all people look very similar..but if you look closely..you will see individual characteristics of each person..if you look at people..and feel people..you will see that people are beautiful...
...see?..they are parallel.....in some dream-like light..grass is like people..people are like grass....if you can love grass..you can love people......if you can love people..you can love grass...
..as i lay in the cool grass...the warm sun shone down...the blue sky was alive with clouds..the breeze played with my hair and cloths and lips...this all soothed my sore body and mind...
..as i lay in the cool grass...i felt of the blades..smelt of earth...stroked the ocean of grass under me....i dreamed of grass..and of people the grass reminded me of........i cried..i cried because..all was well...i was content...i was happy....................i wish you could have been there..i with you could have felt the moment with me..i wish you could have felt of the grass..............................
..........you yourself..are a little, beautiful, tender blade of grass..............
...when you look at grass...see it's beauty...and know in your heart that you are beautiful just as the grass is
........i love grass................
Water Drop
I cannot remember when i wrote this...probably about two months ago or so...i found it in my little note book.
..........a water drop.............
...the sound..of a water drop falling into a pool...the small soothing sound...water colliding with water...
...can you hear that drip?..can you hear that beautiful sound?
.........why is that beautiful?..why is that small short sound...beautiful?
...it is beautiful..for...the same reason moonlight is beautiful...the same reason little flowers in the grass are beautiful...the same reason nakedness is beautiful...the same reason little giggles of children are beautiful...and..the same reason the touch of another is beautiful...
...these things here mentioned are not extravagant..nor complicated..they are simple...................................
....the sound of a water drop in water is beautiful..because....it is simple...........simplicity is beauty.
.......it is true..there are many complicated things that are beautiful...so beauty is not simplicity...however..people who strive only for complication..thinking that extravagant mighty things are the only true beauties....are fools.....fools who over look the essence of what true beauty can be...
...........do not be afraid to take a good look around...do not be afraid to look for beauty in the humblest of places....for simplicity is everywhere you look....
...as complicated as the human body and mind is...even they have simple aspects......eye color...hair color...softness of skin...facial features (my personal favorite: "lips")...curves...organic shapes...actually, the shape and feel of one's entire body....basic emotions...likes and dislikes......a smile...a laugh...a tear drop............all of these traits are (or at least appear to be) simple....but they are beautiful..are they not?
...........do not be afraid to look at yourself......do not be afraid to see the beauty within yourself.....for simplicity..beauty..is everywhere you look
..................................and everywhere you look at yourself
..........a water drop.............
...the sound..of a water drop falling into a pool...the small soothing sound...water colliding with water...
...can you hear that drip?..can you hear that beautiful sound?
.........why is that beautiful?..why is that small short sound...beautiful?
...it is beautiful..for...the same reason moonlight is beautiful...the same reason little flowers in the grass are beautiful...the same reason nakedness is beautiful...the same reason little giggles of children are beautiful...and..the same reason the touch of another is beautiful...
...these things here mentioned are not extravagant..nor complicated..they are simple...................................
....the sound of a water drop in water is beautiful..because....it is simple...........simplicity is beauty.
.......it is true..there are many complicated things that are beautiful...so beauty is not simplicity...however..people who strive only for complication..thinking that extravagant mighty things are the only true beauties....are fools.....fools who over look the essence of what true beauty can be...
...........do not be afraid to take a good look around...do not be afraid to look for beauty in the humblest of places....for simplicity is everywhere you look....
...as complicated as the human body and mind is...even they have simple aspects......eye color...hair color...softness of skin...facial features (my personal favorite: "lips")...curves...organic shapes...actually, the shape and feel of one's entire body....basic emotions...likes and dislikes......a smile...a laugh...a tear drop............all of these traits are (or at least appear to be) simple....but they are beautiful..are they not?
...........do not be afraid to look at yourself......do not be afraid to see the beauty within yourself.....for simplicity..beauty..is everywhere you look
..................................and everywhere you look at yourself
Water
Personally I love water, and I think it very beautiful. This is not (in reality) the only reason i love water; this is merely a philosophical, abstract, dream-like reason for my love. This is another short aritcle that i wrote in my note book
…do you know why water is beautiful?........................haha, that’s right..water is beautiful……………………. because water is a creation of God..all of Jehovah’s creations are perfect and beautiful…it is a gift...because all of life depends on it..every aspect..every FUNCTION of life needs water...that's true..
……………….but when you look into a body of water what do you see?……...…………………….........
…ever since water has been on the Earth it has cycled …(through the ground.. through the sea.. through the sky in the clouds….then fallen in the rain).. so much so that water has touched entire world….in each atom of water there is a memory.. a memory of what that atom has touched…the world…
….it’s rather interesting…that people are made of water as well…blood..sweat.. tears.. seminal milk... they are all made of water…would it not make since then, that water holds the memories of all people?… what people see…what people enjoy…what people experience…what people love…are all remembered in the atoms of water…………………
…when you look into a body of water…you see the beauty and genius of Jehovah…you see memories of the entire planet…and the memories of all people…that is why water is beautiful……
…do you know why water is beautiful?........................haha, that’s right..water is beautiful……………………. because water is a creation of God..all of Jehovah’s creations are perfect and beautiful…it is a gift...because all of life depends on it..every aspect..every FUNCTION of life needs water...that's true..
……………….but when you look into a body of water what do you see?……...…………………….........
…ever since water has been on the Earth it has cycled …(through the ground.. through the sea.. through the sky in the clouds….then fallen in the rain).. so much so that water has touched entire world….in each atom of water there is a memory.. a memory of what that atom has touched…the world…
….it’s rather interesting…that people are made of water as well…blood..sweat.. tears.. seminal milk... they are all made of water…would it not make since then, that water holds the memories of all people?… what people see…what people enjoy…what people experience…what people love…are all remembered in the atoms of water…………………
…when you look into a body of water…you see the beauty and genius of Jehovah…you see memories of the entire planet…and the memories of all people…that is why water is beautiful……
Sphinx Moth
I actually wrote in this in my note book on 7/9/08
...................................i found a Sphinx Moth today...........................................................
..she landed on my front door...i couldn't just leave her there..for she was in direct sunlight..so she is now (or was) in the back yard on a wall of vines...by now she has most likely flown on...
.................there was something poetic and beautiful..yet sad about this moth..resting amongst the vine's leaves in the shade of the cedar trees......i watched her...and held her; cherished her...for a very long time...(couldn't get a decent picture of her in the vines though...grrrr)
...beauty..and living poetry..are all relative...even if that is true..what many people consider "beauty"..is not beautiful at all.......people turn their eyes away from true beauty and instead selfishly look to the flawed material things of this world...
............one aspect of beauty......is knowledge.....knowledge in turn..leads to truth....even if truth is beautiful..truth, the reality of this imperfect world, often is painful...that is why..(or at least..why i think) many people turn away from beauty: beauty can hurt...
....i wish you could have held this moth...she was truly beautiful.....seeing her..and holding her was poetic...but it was sad..because the truth is.................................................................she will die soon
................beauty...does not always hurt...in any situation..there is always hope........hope..is truth..
...even if some truths hurt..they are still beautiful.…
…..the reality of this imperfect world..the truth of it..hurts…but there is hope………one day in the future..Jehovah will step in..and make this world perfect…then..truth..reality..will no longer be painful….reality will be truly beautiful…
….the moth…the hope is…before she dies..she will lay eggs…those eggs…will become more beautiful sphinx moths.
...................................i found a Sphinx Moth today...........................................................
..she landed on my front door...i couldn't just leave her there..for she was in direct sunlight..so she is now (or was) in the back yard on a wall of vines...by now she has most likely flown on...
.................there was something poetic and beautiful..yet sad about this moth..resting amongst the vine's leaves in the shade of the cedar trees......i watched her...and held her; cherished her...for a very long time...(couldn't get a decent picture of her in the vines though...grrrr)
...beauty..and living poetry..are all relative...even if that is true..what many people consider "beauty"..is not beautiful at all.......people turn their eyes away from true beauty and instead selfishly look to the flawed material things of this world...
............one aspect of beauty......is knowledge.....knowledge in turn..leads to truth....even if truth is beautiful..truth, the reality of this imperfect world, often is painful...that is why..(or at least..why i think) many people turn away from beauty: beauty can hurt...
....i wish you could have held this moth...she was truly beautiful.....seeing her..and holding her was poetic...but it was sad..because the truth is.................................................................she will die soon
................beauty...does not always hurt...in any situation..there is always hope........hope..is truth..
...even if some truths hurt..they are still beautiful.…
…..the reality of this imperfect world..the truth of it..hurts…but there is hope………one day in the future..Jehovah will step in..and make this world perfect…then..truth..reality..will no longer be painful….reality will be truly beautiful…
….the moth…the hope is…before she dies..she will lay eggs…those eggs…will become more beautiful sphinx moths.
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