Yesterday, I went to my friend's swim meet.
Wow.
I’d never been to one. (Yeah to some people that must sound pitiful) It was really amazing! It’s really phenomenal what people can do in the water when they know what they are doing. Watching them reminded me of the sea lions on the coast, who can jet through to water with graceful ease. Really exciting to watch.
My friend, Robin (or Water Drop), is absolutely amazing. She is incredibly fast, coming in first place in every one of her heats. I already knew simply by looking at her that she is a talented swimmer, but I had know idea how fast, yet so elegant, she really is. In the water, she is like a mermaid of old sea tales; beautiful and able to navigate the waters with wonderful motions.
In between her laps, her sister, Rachel and I would sit and chill by the locker rooms and watch the other swimmers….and she would quickly point out who she thought the cutes guys were…but her picks seemed abnormally ugly to me…eh whatever. Anyway her sister is fun to be around; her ironic and sarcastic nature is catchy.
There was this guy there, a swimmer on Robin’s team, that I dubbed “Behemoth”; why? Because he was SIX FOOT TALL AND THREE TIMES MY WEIGHT IN SOLID MUSCLE!! It blew my mind how agile he was in the water despite his enormous size…and I just knew, with my ironic life, that I would SOMEHOW make him really really mad…in which case he would tear me into pieces. But thankfully it did not happen…for which I am thankful.
Anyway, I’m very proud of Robin, and very happy for her…for she has such a good time in the water. She’s won three metal thingies…and she’s going on to some other torment. I’m thinking I’ll watch her there as well; it’s quite interesting watching people (her) in the water.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Seeds in the Looking Glass
“The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.”
Children grow up to be just like their parents (or whoever takes care of them) by default.
Apple trees, they grow the same, they all look the same.
“Ugh…how dull sounding.”
Alright, that was my initial thought. However I was taking a walk the other day, and I came across a field filled with apple trees…it didn’t seem like an orchard because the trees were not growing in a uniform fashion. I liked it…I go back to read, write, or something.
Anyway, something caught my eye. Some of the apple trees were close by the other trees around them…so I’m assuming they were all “related” (but you know what “they” say when you “assume” something). In any case, even though each apple tree looked similar, they were all of them unique. They had their own patterns and scars…their own height and width. Time had affected each tree differently; they all had their own stories to tell. One had even burned down sometime in the past but was re-growing. They were all indeed different trees even if they did look quite similar.
Individual…they were all individuals.
I don’t like the thought of growing up to be similar to my parents. Honestly I’m taking steps so that does not happen. But the apple trees proved that children grow up slightly differently from their parents. Time affects everyone differently. The key is individuality. Being an individual means being different from the people constantly around you. If people maintain there individuality, they will be similar only to themselves.
……………
But that’s not going to happen of course. Because people are constantly influenced by other people. Even the individual apple trees looked similar to the other trees. No one can be completely separate……. However people can still be different in their own little ways. For that reason, never give up your individuality.
Children grow up to be just like their parents (or whoever takes care of them) by default.
Apple trees, they grow the same, they all look the same.
“Ugh…how dull sounding.”
Alright, that was my initial thought. However I was taking a walk the other day, and I came across a field filled with apple trees…it didn’t seem like an orchard because the trees were not growing in a uniform fashion. I liked it…I go back to read, write, or something.
Anyway, something caught my eye. Some of the apple trees were close by the other trees around them…so I’m assuming they were all “related” (but you know what “they” say when you “assume” something). In any case, even though each apple tree looked similar, they were all of them unique. They had their own patterns and scars…their own height and width. Time had affected each tree differently; they all had their own stories to tell. One had even burned down sometime in the past but was re-growing. They were all indeed different trees even if they did look quite similar.
Individual…they were all individuals.
I don’t like the thought of growing up to be similar to my parents. Honestly I’m taking steps so that does not happen. But the apple trees proved that children grow up slightly differently from their parents. Time affects everyone differently. The key is individuality. Being an individual means being different from the people constantly around you. If people maintain there individuality, they will be similar only to themselves.
……………
But that’s not going to happen of course. Because people are constantly influenced by other people. Even the individual apple trees looked similar to the other trees. No one can be completely separate……. However people can still be different in their own little ways. For that reason, never give up your individuality.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Memories....Ideas...ugh...
Drip
(drip drip drip)
(drip drip drip)
I remember…I remember coming to this place.
Coming here to hide from reality.
To hide from what I considered miserable and evil.
I ran away from everything and hid here in ignorance.
Isolated from everyone, and kept in the cold of selfishness.
But this is my choice.
It’s dark…so dark I can’t even see my own figure.
My form my shape, all is oblivious.
Nothing is seen so nothing can be judged as evil.
Knowledge and the light it spreads is vanquished here.
Staying in darkness, and kept unaware of my surroundings.
Content I am.
(drip)
There are no sounds…all is quiet here in my refuge.
In this black day no sounds echo forth.
Nothing is ever heard so I must be alone.
Beautiful songs are never in the air in my palace.
Nothing is heard, then none of it matters.
Only the sound of my thoughts.
I don’t know…really how large my palace is.
It is vast and seemingly endless.
No walls can be found or a roof at all.
There are no stairs of progress as ignorance would need none.
No plants to feel and pick in pleasure.
Only water is felt at times.
……drip……
That sound…I heard a sound.
Of distant water flowing somewhere in my palace.
Water, it drips ripples and pours.
But what does the water flow from?
No stones or even matter for the water to flow on.
Where is this water?
My imagination…is it not bound by ignorance?
That must be it, my imagination.
But no I feel water at times, water in a sea of nothingness.
Where is it, where is this noise coming from?
This water can’t be real there is nothing else here in my refuge!
My imagination my mind where is this water coming from?
drip drip drip
This can’t be…the blackness is closing in!
My refuge is collapsing around me!
This dampness, this sound it’s everywhere!
I can feel it, I can hear it, it’s falling on me!
If this is my imagination, my mind I control you!
Listen to me!
My breath…I can’t breath in this black ocean!
The space, the space it gone!
I can’t move, what’s going on!? Why mind why!?
It was MY decision to hide from everything!
Why are you doing this to me!?
I can’t move, help me!
…drip………………………………..................
Stop it…stop it now!
Ever heart beat every blink of my eyes, they are all happening slowly before me!
Black walls of my world are smashed together!
No stop that infernal dripping!!!
Dripping dripping dripping that’s all I can hear now!
That echo!
This is ….this is my world of security!
You can’t do this to me mind!
You’re still my mind so am I doing this to myself??
My own retribution for closing my mind to the world??
Stop the dripping STOP!!!
…………..My……………wor-
...drip……………………………….......................……I……..remember……..
I woke up one day…and took a good look around through the window of inquiry.
I saw all the world’s evils all of the hatred and despair.
I decided to stop learning of things of this world and run away from reality.
That started everything…or rather that started my demise.
Ignorance and loneliness drove me mad.
Deep down I hated myself for such an action.
My ignorant and selfish mind is killing me.
………………………………...........
beep…beep…beep…beep
Bright light…
My body…my form…sore from struggling…alive?
Defined walls…and a ceiling…white sheets
A sink…dripping with water.
I hate hospitals.
I want to look out the window.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Her name is -
To MY Sister
What if you could turn back time?
Undo all the terrible things in your life.
Do you blame yourself for all that has transpired…
Or do you simply hurt because of the choices of others?
Do you dive deep into your soul trying to find answers to their deeds?
Don’t hurt yourself over their account.
You’ll only bleed onto broken picture frames.
You want mama, big brother back home…
Into your arms to tell them of how you are growing up.
Do you look for them where ever you might be?
Don’t follow them in order to find them.
You’ll only kiss the cold stone of nothingness as well.
Will you forever morn your loss…
Or will you end everything to be free of such a burden?
Do you still cry every night over their choices to leave?
Sorry little sister, you love them, but I hate them.
For leaving you and brother and big sister and papa too.
I hate, and yet love them even still…
Though I do not know why, they still touch my heart.
Am I cursed with memories of people I love; I wonder if they even still love me?
Don’t cry; don’t cry anymore little sister.
Remember the acorns, the leave, the water drops, and the grass blades?
Nothing in life is ever easy…
But you can move forward without the troubles of yesterday.
I’m still here…so is big sister, brother, and papa.
Don’t cry anymore little sister.
You’re friends and family still love you.
Nothing can take the place of mama and big brother…
But you will still feel true love from the ones around you…
The ones who love and support you
Don’t you know who you are and what you mean to us…to me?
You’re loving and kind and humble and you’re growing up to be quite beautiful.
Small adorable figure, kind gentle heart…
Cherish yourself…for you are someone special.
Believe in yourself, because you are strong.
Don’t cry anymore little sister.
You can only grow and move forward now…
Become stronger from you hurting.
Free yourself from the chains of despair and embrace your true family.
Please, smile at your future; your future with all those who love you.
Don’t cry. I love you.
What if you could turn back time?
Undo all the terrible things in your life.
Do you blame yourself for all that has transpired…
Or do you simply hurt because of the choices of others?
Do you dive deep into your soul trying to find answers to their deeds?
Don’t hurt yourself over their account.
You’ll only bleed onto broken picture frames.
You want mama, big brother back home…
Into your arms to tell them of how you are growing up.
Do you look for them where ever you might be?
Don’t follow them in order to find them.
You’ll only kiss the cold stone of nothingness as well.
Will you forever morn your loss…
Or will you end everything to be free of such a burden?
Do you still cry every night over their choices to leave?
Sorry little sister, you love them, but I hate them.
For leaving you and brother and big sister and papa too.
I hate, and yet love them even still…
Though I do not know why, they still touch my heart.
Am I cursed with memories of people I love; I wonder if they even still love me?
Don’t cry; don’t cry anymore little sister.
Remember the acorns, the leave, the water drops, and the grass blades?
Nothing in life is ever easy…
But you can move forward without the troubles of yesterday.
I’m still here…so is big sister, brother, and papa.
Don’t cry anymore little sister.
You’re friends and family still love you.
Nothing can take the place of mama and big brother…
But you will still feel true love from the ones around you…
The ones who love and support you
Don’t you know who you are and what you mean to us…to me?
You’re loving and kind and humble and you’re growing up to be quite beautiful.
Small adorable figure, kind gentle heart…
Cherish yourself…for you are someone special.
Believe in yourself, because you are strong.
Don’t cry anymore little sister.
You can only grow and move forward now…
Become stronger from you hurting.
Free yourself from the chains of despair and embrace your true family.
Please, smile at your future; your future with all those who love you.
Don’t cry. I love you.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Silly poet, politics are for the wise
don’t care much for politics…nor politicians.
I don’t put much (if any) stock in man made governments…
But those aside, I live in a man made government.
Run by none other that politicians.
But don’t get me wrong. I like living here.
I respect the laws of society, and do what I can to contribute as a good citizen.
And I believe the U.S. Constitution is an amazing document.
The Constitution was built upon idealistic ideas.
Those ideas are timeless in this world.
But the truth is, this world is not ideal.
The people who live under the guidance of the Constitution are not perfect.
(I also think a supposed “Separation of Church and State” is funny…seeing as how politics is always flirting with religion.)
I was thinking (yeah I do that I occasion): fighting…fighting in another nation across the ocean…for the purpose of “rebuilding and protecting the newly rebuilt nation”. Ok, sounds great. But wait a minute, what about domestic issues? Welfare, unemployment…shouldn’t those be taken care of as well? Instead of piling billions into war, take some of that and use it for domestic purposes.….
The attacks of September 11, 2001 shocked the government…primarily because the U.S. had never before had an attack on the homeland. Naturally the feds were going to take action to try to prevent that sort of thing again. That action was to invade the Middle East where the terrorists were suppose to be. Iraq was a target because Saddam Hussein was allegedly housing weapons of mass destruction.
U.S. troops were sent, Iraq’s government was rebuilt, Saddam Hussein was captured, no weapons, very few terrorists. If the job was to fix Iraq, it seems as though the job is done…so why are U.S. troops still over seas? Why are tax dollars going to support a war effort? What’s with this vendetta? With a crumbling economy and such, shouldn’t the government try to fix its own problems before it tries to fix others?
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy helping people..…
It seems that the nation should try to find a way to fix its own failing economy….with that fixed, it could better help other nations.
But I’m only a teenager, what do I know?……………………and I try my best to be neutral when it comes to politics.
In any case, I’m sure you’ve all heard this a million times before, so my words must sound cliché.…
Oh well, I’m in a bad mood thanks to all the economic research I had to do for my Government class final and I needed to get it out of my system somehow.
Later.
I don’t put much (if any) stock in man made governments…
But those aside, I live in a man made government.
Run by none other that politicians.
But don’t get me wrong. I like living here.
I respect the laws of society, and do what I can to contribute as a good citizen.
And I believe the U.S. Constitution is an amazing document.
The Constitution was built upon idealistic ideas.
Those ideas are timeless in this world.
But the truth is, this world is not ideal.
The people who live under the guidance of the Constitution are not perfect.
(I also think a supposed “Separation of Church and State” is funny…seeing as how politics is always flirting with religion.)
I was thinking (yeah I do that I occasion): fighting…fighting in another nation across the ocean…for the purpose of “rebuilding and protecting the newly rebuilt nation”. Ok, sounds great. But wait a minute, what about domestic issues? Welfare, unemployment…shouldn’t those be taken care of as well? Instead of piling billions into war, take some of that and use it for domestic purposes.….
The attacks of September 11, 2001 shocked the government…primarily because the U.S. had never before had an attack on the homeland. Naturally the feds were going to take action to try to prevent that sort of thing again. That action was to invade the Middle East where the terrorists were suppose to be. Iraq was a target because Saddam Hussein was allegedly housing weapons of mass destruction.
U.S. troops were sent, Iraq’s government was rebuilt, Saddam Hussein was captured, no weapons, very few terrorists. If the job was to fix Iraq, it seems as though the job is done…so why are U.S. troops still over seas? Why are tax dollars going to support a war effort? What’s with this vendetta? With a crumbling economy and such, shouldn’t the government try to fix its own problems before it tries to fix others?
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy helping people..…
It seems that the nation should try to find a way to fix its own failing economy….with that fixed, it could better help other nations.
But I’m only a teenager, what do I know?……………………and I try my best to be neutral when it comes to politics.
In any case, I’m sure you’ve all heard this a million times before, so my words must sound cliché.…
Oh well, I’m in a bad mood thanks to all the economic research I had to do for my Government class final and I needed to get it out of my system somehow.
Later.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Ideology in Another
Reality: the concept of what is….
Ideology : what one considers ideal…what one truly desires.
Is it wrong to want what is ideal? (what really is ideal?) Of course not. To obtain what is ideal, humans must work to reach their goals…the world is not going to change itself. Humans accomplish nothing by simply thinking but never acting on their thoughts. This is simple cause and effect. Cause: ideal thought. Effect: working to reach your ideal conditions.
To strive for what is ideal…for what is desired. The world won’t change to fit the ideologies of people. Wake up to that simple fact…or that fact will simply manifest itself within you until you acknowledge it.
A friend of mine, she is scared and unsure herself…stressed….(I’m basically the same way right now….) We spent some time together yesterday. She is a dear friend, someone I trust…she looks at me in the same light. Without a word and only a gaze, we embraced and kissed for a long time…..(have no idea for how long.)
What this the action needed to reach our true desires? Was this the effect of a craving for ideal conditions? Or was this merely two different hormones calling to each other? A craving for the touch of someone? Or maybe just a call for comfort from our depressed hearts? Perhaps the hormones created the ideal solution…? …Hormones made a touch the ideal condition….?
Something entirely different: love between two people?
…..ugh I’m not even going to try to write about love…..to damn complicated.
Ideologies…hormones…a need for comfort…love…..all factors in a single event.
…….I think to much……….(but sometimes my thinking pays off)
In any case…my point is simple: Reality is not always ideal…but at times it can be.
P.S. I don’t kiss just anyone…that’s not mt style
Ideology : what one considers ideal…what one truly desires.
Is it wrong to want what is ideal? (what really is ideal?) Of course not. To obtain what is ideal, humans must work to reach their goals…the world is not going to change itself. Humans accomplish nothing by simply thinking but never acting on their thoughts. This is simple cause and effect. Cause: ideal thought. Effect: working to reach your ideal conditions.
To strive for what is ideal…for what is desired. The world won’t change to fit the ideologies of people. Wake up to that simple fact…or that fact will simply manifest itself within you until you acknowledge it.
A friend of mine, she is scared and unsure herself…stressed….(I’m basically the same way right now….) We spent some time together yesterday. She is a dear friend, someone I trust…she looks at me in the same light. Without a word and only a gaze, we embraced and kissed for a long time…..(have no idea for how long.)
What this the action needed to reach our true desires? Was this the effect of a craving for ideal conditions? Or was this merely two different hormones calling to each other? A craving for the touch of someone? Or maybe just a call for comfort from our depressed hearts? Perhaps the hormones created the ideal solution…? …Hormones made a touch the ideal condition….?
Something entirely different: love between two people?
…..ugh I’m not even going to try to write about love…..to damn complicated.
Ideologies…hormones…a need for comfort…love…..all factors in a single event.
…….I think to much……….(but sometimes my thinking pays off)
In any case…my point is simple: Reality is not always ideal…but at times it can be.
P.S. I don’t kiss just anyone…that’s not mt style
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