…For the past three years or so..my world has been collapsing. Well…I mean I have a good home…relatively a good family…and friends who love me and who I love in return.
…but you see…I have “mental issues” I shall say and many tragic things have happened over the years…so despite all of the good aspects of my life, I have still been going insane. So for the past few years…all of my stress…all of my anxiety…all of my hatred…has been building up inside me…I finally snapped like never before about a week or so ago…I attempted suicide.
……….and o how I came so close to actually dying. I spent about a week in the hospital recovering…half of that time unconscious………..But as you can tell by the date…I am still alive…...........
…when I got back home from the hospital…a dear friend of mine came to visit...we are really close…I call her my “little sister”….she gave me a long hug, a kiss, and a little card she wrote…………my best friend Steven came by…and he told me, “As soon as you’re up and moving again…I’m gonna beat the hell out of you (for trying to kill yourself); you know that right?” haha that’s just like Steven…we have know each other for years…awesome guy…
...and a few other notable friends came by....
*sigh* I broke up with my girlfriend…and yes it hurt very much..because we are so very similar…almost like a mirror…we are so alike indeed…but maybe that’s why it can’t work out….you see we both can’t stand ourselves…so dating someone just like ourselves…you get the idea. We still talk…we are still friends…and I like it that way..I’m just to immature for a relationship of that sort right now…so we still love each other…as the best of friends…always nice to add a friend…
….my world is still collapsing….I’m still stressed out…I’m still saddened and depressed….yet at the same time…I’m happy to be alive….you see…there is beauty in this word…there is a loving God…there are many pages of text I still can read…there is warm sunshine…there are trees….there are the mountains and the oceans….there are many more good and beautiful things……and…I have people I love and can fall back on….I can see all of these things clearly now.
I’ll never try to kill myself again
Ocean Bliss
This is (a little bit of) Me
- Flüssiger Spiegel
- "Under your boot-soles", United States
- I am myself and I go by several names; you can call me whatever you like. Friendship, Poetry (and Literature in general), Nature, Music (and most other forms of art), and God only know what else are almost always on my mind. I think, a lot; it keeps me occupied. I like to write, a lot; it’s enjoyable. I'm pretty self-condemning, and at times even self-destructive…but I would never intentionally hurt anyone else; in fact, it makes me feel pretty good to help people. For example: my friends (for some reason) often come to me for help or advice; it feels nice. I am more or less a quite person; unless I trust you. I try to be open minded and accept just about anyone. I love my friends...they mean the world. In any case, that‘s all I‘m writing; maybe I wrote to much… Later (By the way, thanks for everything Steven)
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